It's Always like this...

Why?? Why?? Why??
I just don't get it sometimes...
I hate it a lot...
Erggghhhh.... *start banging my head to the wall*
I'm busy with my work...
I work on weekdays... He works on weekends...
We barely have times to talk...
He never thought of any ways of how to go out with me... How to meet me... OR anythg!!!!
He just go with the flow...
AND
I have to plan everything...
Well... I had ENOUGH!!!!

I still got doubts whether or not he truly loves me...
Well yea... All he think it's his ego.. His pride... And Him being supposedly a passive guy...
Well.. Yea sure... Continue doing that... Because I'm not sure I want to continue this whole nonsense thg anymore...
I feel like a crap for keep doing this and that....
I feel stupid... An idiot who is doing all those thgs for NOTHING....
Love? Haiz.... So wat... Not that he appreciate it anyway...
Rmbr the thg I knit for him? I think it's somewhere in the drawer, molding, collecting dusts.... And some ppl say I should be grateful that it didn't end up in the garbage... Well, I think that's a 'sooner or later' event...



I don't get how Vinu can support him...
She said I should uds him...
But seriously in WHAT way???
By JUST accepting who he is?
And then what?
That's definitely NOT I want...
I'm tired... Frustrated...
Because I can't see what I'm supposed to see...
How deep he love me and everythg... How he treat me specially or smthg...
But I don't feel like that at all...
I don't know how to trust him... I'm not sure that I should either....

He didn't ask me out...
He never bothers to thought of a way either...
I don't uds him... Nor I do know how he feels frm times to times... Well actually how could I?? Since he never tell me...
He said he might go to S'pore... And THIS, I got to know frm reading fb and not through him...
I'm clueless... Always has been... Coz this is not the 1st time...
Haiz... What am I to him anyway? Just a gf by name huh?
Haiz... I hate this...
I don't know him for 19 years of my life and even until now I still DON'T...



Our future?
"I look and I saw it's full of sh**"
I think I'm gonna stick with that statement for now...
If u think I'm being harsh... Well, that just mean u have no idea how pissed I am rite now....
He never change... He never will be...
If I said break up now, he'll give up easily on me...
Coz that's just the way he is...

Haiz... Why continue if it's that difficult?
Because of my stupid feelings of love...
Crap that love... Crap that hopes and wishes....
I'm giving up...
Trust me, I can... All I need is time and his ignorance....
PEACE OUT! XP