The most painful moment is when u realised that he is not gonna come back...
And... U need to force urself to forget about him and just let go...

It is never easy...
But I keep telling myself tat though it's not, it is not impossible as well...

I woke up... Just to find myself wetting my pillows with my tears..

I kept telling myself...
I kept telling my heart that there Will be a better guy out there...
A guy that truly loves me...
Just hold on... Please...
Forget about this guy... He is not worthy... He really isn't...

Yes.. It's painful...
It's crazy...
I'm losing my sanity...
And... I just want all this to stop...

Haiz... You have no idea...
How I kept dreaming bout me going back and say "I'm finally back!" and hug him as tight as possible...
God... Whenever I thought about this, my heart, i can feel it's crying...

Why couldn't him... Withstand? Hold on a little bit longer?
Why should him give up on me when he hasn't try his best?

Haiz... Distance isn't a big issue but it is a major issue for almost every couple in the world...
And we fail this test...

I asked him to meet me next yr...
Give me 3 days...
But... Seriously... I know it wouldn't end well...
I just want my heart to wake up this time... To stop hoping...
To stop clinging onto something which has no more feelings on you...

God... Please give me strength...
Please help me in every way that's possible...
Haiz... If You think it's impossible, could you tell my little heart that?
If it's possible, would you  mind knock Tuna in his sense back?
Amen

I dn noe hw to cope with this...
I'm feelin insecure too...
But why r u treating me like this?
It's not easy for me to be strong...

So why are u keep pushing me to side?
I know that no matter I cry in my blog, u can't hear me...
U dn even know this link anymore...

I dn noe how to reach u...
I dn noe how to touch ur heart...
I dn noe wat I can do...
I dn noe what I should have done...

I can't sleep...
I don't dare to sleep...
If I'm asleep, I don't dare to wake up...

Would it really be better if I were to disappear from ur life?
Would u then realised hw important I am in ur life?
Or... Would I just become a small fragment of ur memory...

My mind... My heart... Become really unsettle with all these confusing & yet frustrating emotions...

God...
Is this a test?
Haiz...

I dn noe hw much longer I can hold on...
I dn think I wan to continue to be like this...
My heart is aching...
My lungs are gasping for air...
I feel like I am suffocating...