What I should be doing!

If he doesn’t want that level of commitment, isn’t ready for it, or just can’t see how great you two could be together, it is not your job to convince him, help him prepare, or show him the way to loving you.

It just means that you love yourself enough to know that you don’t have to beg somebody to have a meaningful and fulfilling relationship with you.

When a man says that he doesn’t know what he wants, the best thing you can do is give him space and move on with your life. Men are often slower than women at processing experiences and emotions. A man can easily coast in a relationship for years, taking the path of least resistance and never speaking up about his unhappiness, and then poof! one day he wakes up from his lazy haze to realize he is completely miserable and wants out. When a man expresses his uncertainty about being in a relationship with you, give him ample space and time to reflect. Don’t try to help him think it through. Don’t try to “be there” for him. Give him time to miss you. Men fall in love with women when they long for them—not when they are persuaded or guilt-tripped into being with them.

I know taking a big step back isn’t easy to do. It’s painful, frustrating, and especially hard for women who are accustomed to proactively solving problems at home, school, and work. No matter how much of a go-getter you are in other areas of your life, when a man tells you he isn’t sure if he wants to be in a relationship with you, back off. Let whatever is supposed to happen play out naturally without your planning and plotting. Have the dignity to walk away from an unfulfilling, ambiguous situation. You owe it to yourself!

Know that what you’re really worthy of is a man who wants to be with you and doesn’t need convincing, and walk away with your head held high.

You only chat with men who want to be in a relationship with you. 

Never whine, beg, moan, plead or cry.