Why must love be painful?

Why must it full of sadness?
Why must I cry over n over again?
Why couldn I choose him eve though I love him?
Why would I feel tis lonely?
Why couldn we stay together?

I'm scared to meet him...
I'm scare of d outcomes...
Even if it is the good news I expected, but... I'll jz feel insecure again...
It would like hell again...
Again I need to worry when will I get dumped...
Even if it is the good news I expected, yet... I couldn... choose to stay...

I feel stupd... Y not if I love him?
But... I know deep down...
It's bcz I love him... It's bcz I love him too much...
My love for him is way beyond bigger than his...
That's y... He wouldn come to love me as much as I do...
In turns... He'll nvr appreciate me...
And... Again... He'll break my heart for the 3rd time..

I can't..
I don't think I can make it with the 3rd...
I wan 2 protect it from breaking again...
I know it sounds like a coward 2 run away... 2 avoid it... 2 b tis stupid...
But I jz noe... Deep down... He wn ever chase me or even stop me from going away...
It is jz te way it is... It is jz te way HE is...

Truthfully...
I miss him.. My most unforgettable day wit him is our 1st unofficial date...
We didn do anythg special other than talking, walking around n watching movies...
Since we aren official yet...
But... I still had fun...