Bad Day

Yes. Today is a great day, where I can hang out with my frens.
But I just can't fight off tat complexity feelings I have in 'here'.

I work really hard.
I work, n work again. So that no one can look down on me.
Yes I admit I got weak because I am tired for doing jobs that nobody care to look at or appreciate.
That's why I drop real bad.
However I know it is just an excuse.
Or should I say, this is my mistake for fighting for someone else dreams n hopes.
I should be more selfish on tis.
Maybe that way I won't end up so pathetically.
Sad. It's just sad.

The problem is I love my mum. I pity her life.
I hate those who detest her so I tried really really hard to climb up.
But... Once I've managed to climbed up on a higher level, all she actually care isn't me.
She still hates me or rather the blood that flows in me.
That day... I've changed... I lost my purpose to move on...
I feel meaningless even until now.

I just hate it.
I'm not asking in return but for God sake, I'm your daughter. I'm a human being with feelings n there is a limit where you can push.
I got my own life too. From now on, I want to live the life I've always wanted to dream.
She don't really care wat happens to me.
I fainted n wat te hell she ever do?
At least my dad panicked.

Aah.. My dad... He's another problem I couldn't put up with.
It is so complex. I just don't really know wat 2 do.
I mean I can't hate him.
He saved my life b4. Not just once... And it's more than that.
It's just... Due to some incident... I am really disappointed wit him.

Haiz...
Why can't I live a normal life?
Why couldn't I have a warm family like anyone else?
Why???
Why is my childhood so miserable?
Why couldn't she uds me just a little bit? At least be considerate... Stop treating me like some punching bag or some doll...